Practicing

I’m practicing rage

I’m practicing pain

I sit with fear like a noble solider

“Hello”, I whisper to it.

“Hello”…I ask it “How is your mother?”

It starts to scream, and fear becomes a young toddler who only needs gentleness and affection.

“Alright, little one” I hum…

It wraps around my arms like a snake sneering it’s prey,

believing it needed to consume me

no, it just needed to become one with me, the real me…

I’ve become well practiced in sitting with fear.

I don’t think I have nerves of steel, far from it, but I can certainly stand up to things. I am not afraid to look suffering straight in the eyes.

Etty Hillesum

June 21, 2022, Completed February 22, 2024