i try

I’m not suicidal. the lines just get blurry sometimes Don’t even want to try anymore. I’ll fuck up, like I always do. I’ll go somewhere, only to get lost. I try. I try…and I try.

Too sad

I’m tired of these sad poems I’m tired of being sad Tired of falling apart every three months I’m scared of my body. I’m scared of my mind. It’s always trying to kill me. It wants me to die but something in me fights it…but what if that something in me disappears. I’m scared. I…

isn’t it ironic?

Oh, the irony… wish the pain away. it’s the only thing that makes me feel alive.

i thought…

I thought enlightenment would eventually come. Though no matter what path I took. I was only left uninspired. I thought healing would come too, but real healing only came from a bottle of pills.

I guess…

I ache. – I don’t want to anymore. Wide awake with the moon. Sleepy with the yellow sun. Could it be worse?

I

I do my own healing I confide in myself I support myself I’m my biggest cheerleader I manage my feelings I manage my thoughts I direct my life on the path I want to go I make my own decisions I find my own soultions I face all my battles head on I I I……

love just is

You are pure like the warm summer sun, I want to absorb your bright light Words were barely exchanged Your eyes spoke louder and deeper than words ever could Thank you, you showed me how simple love is…so very simple…there is not one thing I need to do, and there is not one thing you…

The One

The One. They’re not a checklist, they’re a person. The One is when you throw out your checklist and demands The One throws away their checklist and demands… The One accepts you for who you are; human and vice versa. The One doesn’t make you feel boxed in The One doesn’t feel boxed in by…

old thoughts, same meaning

I have been reading my old journals and stumbled across this sentence from March of 2019… “I hate the stupid concepts people made up for me.”  …and I still do

ok.

It took me some time, when the blinders came off I saw what this was all about. I thought it was love, I was mistaken. What I thought was your lovin’ was your lustin’. lust.

Truth hurts

Sometimes the truth isn’t so pretty… sometimes the truth has to destroy you before it can set you free… sometimes…

I’m no good…

I’m not good enough. I’m nothing. Why would I think anyone else would think I am enough? I hate you because I hate me. I hate your body because I hate my body. I hate the way you speak because I hate the way I speak. I hate the way you think because I hate…